Like Mrs. Dalloway, we all have our struggles with jealousy, anger and sadness when faced with rejection. So after Clarissa finds out that Richard is attending Lady Bruton’s lunch, she is justly pissed off. From what we have seen so far in the book, Clarissa is very self-aware. Being refused by Lady Bruton is not only bad for her image, but her ego as well. In addition to that, Richard was invited to the party while she wasn’t, and that makes Clarissa feel that the Lady has a strong disdain for her. Though I do think Clarissa’s fragile self-image is to blame for her response to the situation, everyone is affected in some way by rejection.
From my experience, being rejected is no fun. Especially now in the social media age. As you scroll down the timeline of your Instagram, or Snapchat you see everything you weren’t invited to. This kind of agony cannot be restricted by age, whether you are 15 like me, or 50 like Clarissa, it still hurts to be cast-off. As we know, Mrs. Dalloway will be having a party of her own tonight. If I were in Clarissa’s position, I would make sure that Mrs. Bruton was invited. If only to spare her a rejection experience, and the bitter feelings to follow it.
I liked your post. Though I think Mrs. Dalloway may have overreacted slightly, because it was just a luncheon, I agree with what you have said. Being excluded can be painful, for lack of a better word, especially if one is a young child. I remember that my parents always told me not to mention a birthday party one of my friends hadn't been invited to. I think your post brought to light a pertinent issue often overlooked.
ReplyDeleteClarissa's entire life revolves around throwing and attending these parties because she chose to become "the perfect hostess," which I think makes this kind of rejection all the more hurtful. She doesn't do things for herself, as getting flowers on her own is a big moment for her, so these parties and luncheons are a big moment for her. Feeling unaccepted by the other women of high society is a major diss to Clarissa because she really doesn't have anyone else to turn to.
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting, I never really gave a second thought to this part in the novel. Upon reading your post, I realized that this little event really does tell us a lot about Clarissa and how she views herself. To her, she's become "Richard's wife", her whole life is dedicated to being a mother, wife and hostess, and with all of these titles, she's subject to a lot of these social interactions which can many times end in rejection.
ReplyDeleteThis is an extremely valid point that resounded within me as I read it! I completely understand the feeling of rejection that you describe. I think that I can somewhat relate to Clarissa's especially realistic reaction in the way that she freaks out, but in her quiet and reserved way that reflects her state of being self-aware as well as her fragile self-image. What you said at the end though: if you were Clarissa, you would ensure that Lady Bruton was invited to your party, this is extremely kind-hearted. I'm not sure exactly what Clarissa would do. Invite her for her public image (maybe in hopes of being invited in return to a luncheon) or to disinvite her (in a haste) in spite of her actions? The first may sound slightly more like Clarissa?
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how you found a way to connect this scene with the modern world in terms of a feeling of acceptance and jealousy. While the context of the two scenarios exhibit significant differences, the basic notion that it boils down to is the same, that is, the idea of rejection and the realization that one is not "good enough" to be invited or accepted to something. From this, rivalries can stem as a cycle of rejection and jealousy may emerge, making your point (about Clarissa being the better person and inviting Lady Bruton to her party) valid.
ReplyDeleteI think the fact that Mrs. Dalloway experiences these emotions over something like not being invited to lunch allows the audience to relate a little with her. At some point or another, everyone has felt rejected over not being invited to an event. Your blog epsecially brings attention to what it is to feel rejected in modern society and the effects of social media on human emotions. Mrs. Dalloway proves to be no different when it comes to rejection. Like you said, she feels anger, jealousy, and sadness which only further gives her character a more realistic aspect.
ReplyDeleteI agree that being left out is no fun. While Clarissa is upset by her lack of an invitation to Lady Brunton's lunch, she avoids leaving other people out. She invited her cousin Ellie Henderson to her party even though she really didn't want her there.
ReplyDeleteThis not-being-invited by Lady Bruton is an interesting, borderline case: it's not clear that Clarissa has been explicitly *rejected,* just not *included*. And she herself acknowledges that she isn't the kind of "manly" company that Lady B prefers (she likes to talk politics, and Clarissa knows she can't hold her own in this area). But she is aware (accurately, it turns out) that Bruton isn't too fond of her, and you describe well how it's hard to rationalize that guy feeling of being snubbed or left out.
ReplyDeleteBut in a way she's saved, as Richard keeps thinking of her during lunch (inspired, ironically, by the mention of Peter Walsh), and he hurries home to her once he's free of the Admirable Hugh. This moment of rejection is perhaps compensated for by Richard appearing (with flowers!) to say ("in so many words") that he loves her.
This not-being-invited by Lady Bruton is an interesting, borderline case: it's not clear that Clarissa has been explicitly *rejected,* just not *included*. And she herself acknowledges that she isn't the kind of "manly" company that Lady B prefers (she likes to talk politics, and Clarissa knows she can't hold her own in this area). But she is aware (accurately, it turns out) that Bruton isn't too fond of her, and you describe well how it's hard to rationalize that guy feeling of being snubbed or left out.
ReplyDeleteBut in a way she's saved, as Richard keeps thinking of her during lunch (inspired, ironically, by the mention of Peter Walsh), and he hurries home to her once he's free of the Admirable Hugh. This moment of rejection is perhaps compensated for by Richard appearing (with flowers!) to say ("in so many words") that he loves her.